If I were Queen of the Forest

I wouldn't have my bridges...

I wouldn't have my streets, I wouldn't have my sidewalks built by the lowest bidder, the one who picked the crappiest materials and worst cheapest labourers so we, the tax payers can drive on the crappiest, cheapest roads possible to save 29 cents.

I would teach...

that the world is big enuf for them to share it with dogs. specifically a horrid nameless shriek we encountered on the canal last week. A was being a happy dog,minding his own beeswax when shrieky got ballistic. we've been out there all winter, battling through blizzards. one sunny day + the swarms of self-righteous arrive + think they own the place. Humbug.

I would teach little rich Westmount Girls

not to steal my daughter's, or any other person's sons or daughters shoes at a party.

I'd fire all the lazy no good blue collar

slackers + hire single Moms + artists to fill pot holes + the such. These guys have indexed pensions -- on our freelancer hard earned taxes! Humbug!

I would remind folks about the "no" vote irregularities of "95

http://www.geocities.com/capitolhill/lobby/4652/vote2.html

In May of 2005, former PQ cabinet minister Richard Le Hir, who has left the sovereignty movement, claimed that the PQ government actively tried to sway the vote by sending "scrutineer shock troops" drawn from pro-sovereignty labour unions into polling stations in areas with large concentrations of anglophone and allophone voters. These scrutineers were to obstruct and reject valid No votes in order to "neutralize the adversary". Le Hir says that the strategy resulted from a belief in the PQ that the citizenships of recent immigrants had been "fast-tracked" in order to increase the No vote.

When "no" didn't mean "no". It meant "delete" or "trash."

I'd assign one designated drunk

per gathering. Everyone could stand around and be amused by the wittiness+ antics of the drunk+ then go home + be very fine the next morn.

I would not sic the chinese head tax

on the current gov't. People who are making this a Liberal gov't election issue are in my humble opinion, opportunists. The head tax was a HUGELY ugly enterprise, who disputes that? However, so was slavery. State sanctified domestic violence. Anti-semitism. Religious persecution. It's endless. Moi, an immigrant in the 50's in Vancouver, was called a "dirty DP" more than a few times. But enuf already. Are the sins of our grandfathers really an election issue in 2006?

Jane Creba, 15

View this photoI would put some kind of wireless sensor in all guns, impossible to detect, which would trigger alarms, phones, ipods, cd players, tv's, radios, lights, all the bells and whistles, whatever, everything, so no one would ever be able to walk around with a gun unless everyone and their dog knew it.

I would forbid transit strikes

in NY while the Preston-Rey family visited. Tsk, tsk.